Fifer, the tiny cow-child of teddy bears.

This is Anne, playing by herself, with stuffed animals.

"The little one, the little tiny cow is named Fiffer.
The white one, the sister, is named Lucky,
The daddy is Bucky,
And the mommy is Lydia, she has the big tummy 'cause she's pregnant."

Did you toot?

Anne:
"Dad, did you toot?"

Me:
"No."

Anne:
"Don't tell a lie!"

"I'm not."

Anne:
"Ok, we have a dead mouse."

Apparently my toots smell like dead mice.

That's a really bad thing to find out about oneself.

Dealy-Bob

Anne:
"Well dad, I think I'm going to have to go to the Doctor."

Me:
"Why?"

Anne:
"Well I will if my dealy-bob doesn't start feeling better."

Me:
"Dealy-bob?"

Anne:
"I'll tell you after I get through eating my cookie."

(5 minutes later)

Anne:
"Ok, are you ready to listen about my dealy-bob?"

Me:
"Sure"

Anne:
"Ok....

When I do this it hurts (flings her left arm straight out from her body)

And earlier when I was taking a nap my leg hurt. Both legs. It's weird."

Me:
"That sure is weird."

The Bible is SEEERIOUS!

Lydia just told Anne it's time to get ready for bed.

Anne: Mommy, can we do Bible time?

Lydia: Yes.

Anne: I like Bible time... 'Cause the Bible is SEEERIOUS! Those things REALLY HAPPENED!!!

Lydia: Yes they did.

Anne: I know!

I'm glad she has been listening to me. Every time I read to her from the Bible, I make sure to remind her that the Bible is an account of things that actually happened, not just stories like from her books.

Annie Bakes a Cake

December 15th, 2006 (I've been meaning to post this for a while)

Anne spends almost as much time in the kitchen as I do. She loves to watch me and help in whatever ways she can. Almost every time I go into the kitchen to start cooking or baking I can pretty much count on her joining me with her chair in tow within about 2 minutes.
I was baking yesterday and Anne had been watching me for quite a while. The idea entered my head to let her make her own cake, just for fun. I asked her if she wanted to and told her that I wasn't really going to help her. She got the biggest grin on her face and immediately set to work. She was positively giddy. She came up with the entire recipe on her own and it's pretty creative. The only thing I had to set her straight on was the very first ingredient, flour, she said, "Hmm, I think I should start with 7 cups of flour." After I told her she probably should start with one, she pretty much did all the measuring herself. On a few of the ingredients, she sought my opinion sneakily by stating what she was going to do with a bit of a question mark at the end. She didn't want to appear to be new at this! Well, here is her recipe.

Anne's Chocolate Cake

"We always use a bowl for all the flour and sugar and dry kind of things, don't we."
In a large bowl, combine:
1 Cup Flour (no, not 7)
1 Cup Sugar
3/4 Teaspoon Baking Soda
"A little salt" (about 1/4 Teaspoon)
1/2 Cup Cocoa

In another bowl combine:
1 Stick Butter (softened)
1 Egg
1/2 Cup Buttermilk ("We like to put buttermilk in our cakes and things because it's gooood.")
"Some Vanilla. Vanilla doesn't taste good when we drink it plain but in a cake it's so gooood!"
Add to dry ingredients with mixer.

Then add, (because "It needs something to make it creamy." Off to the fridge!)
4 Ounces Cream Cheese (softened)


"It's kind of chunky and thick. Yeah, it's too thick. Sometimes it's ok to add water isn't it."
Add 2 Tablespoons water

Mix until smooth. In fact, I don't know that you can over-mix this cake. Anne likes using the mixer. Pour into a greased 8x8 pan. (Anne used a small rectangular one I had but it's probably about the size of an 8x8.) Bake at 350 about 20 minutes or until a toothpick inserted in middle comes out clean.

From Bakery

From Bakery

Is that Even Good for Us?

I looked over at Tim who was lying on the couch holding his nostrils open with his fingers.

I said," What are you doing?"

Anne was lying on the floor looking at the phone book and saying random phone numbers and having imaginary conversations.

Tim said, "I'm breathing."

Anne stopped in the middle of a phone number and said, "Breathing? Is that even good for us?"

Lazy Daddy

I was eating supper tonight, and went in to get some milk. Lydia had the van today and was supposed to go to the store - but didn't.

There was enough milk for half of a glass.

Very disappointing, but I got over it.

Then I ran out of milk and the sky fell.

I said loudly in a pouting voice full of grump and whine, "I want some more milk!"

Anne said, "I'll go get you some."

I replied, "There isn't any more."

"Oh," she replied, "I just thought you were bein' lazy."

You Should have Covered

I just sneezed - with a small amount of food still in my mouth. Very small, just the little bits and pieces actually - not enough even to swallow.

There is a small pattern of said food on the curtain in our family room. I said, "Oh no - it's all over the curtain."

Anne comes trotting over to see, "Ew, gross - you should have covered."

Which is what I am constantly reminding her to do.

She was right. I should have covered.

Junky and Old

Anne has a toy camera that says things like, "You're as pretty as a princess!" and "Say Cheese!" and "You look beautiful"

She was just taking pictures of Samuel and the camera said, "You're as pretty as a princess!" Then she looked at me and said, "He's not really pretty as a princess is he?"

I said, "Yes he is." which she quickly echoed "Yes, he is."

Then she went in to get out of her jammies and into day clothes so we could go grocery shopping for mom.

Lydia was waiting in Anne's bedroom to help her. Anne walked in with the camera going off and says, "Mom, are you as pretty as a princess?"

Lydia replied, "Yes I am!"

Anne said, "No you're not, you're junky and old!"


The aftermath:

Anne: "Sorry, mommy, for saying that you're junky and old, please forgive me."
Lydia: "Do you really think I'm junky and old?"
Anne: "Yeah." (drawn out)





Lydia: "Do you still think I'm junky and old?"

Anne: "Yes."

(round and round we went for about 5 minutes about it until...)

Dad: "Anne, your mom is beautiful and young, not junky and old. You need to tell her you're sorry again."

Anne: "I already did!"

Dad: "But then you said it again! Apologize right now and give her a kiss!"

"Sorry mommy for calling you junky and old, please forgive me." *Kiss*

Dad: "Do you still think she's junky and old?"

Anne: "No, she's young and nice and beautiful."

You can pick your friends... just not at school

Anne and Lydia were doing school in the other room yesterday...

Anne had not been paying attention or doing a very good job.

She had been giggling and was just generally being naughty.

Suddenly I heard Lydia say loudly,

"NOOOO.... Get your finger out of your nose! When you are doing school you do not have your finger in your nose. You're just fiddling around with that finger!"

You can pick your friends. You can pick your nose. You just can't pick your nose at school.

"Ahhhhh - The shoe cracks me up!"

- Anne while watching me go through pictures on the computer.

 

Omaha

 

The Rare Pizza Animal

Tonight, during supper:

"What kind of animal is this in my pizza?"

We all laughed, then I went to get my camera to document the offending animal.

As I'm taking the picture, she continued,

"It could totally be a bug, the little string things could be its eyes."

Then after taking the picture, I tossed the "animal" back onto her plate, breaking it in half accidently.

"Hey!!! You broke my bug in half!

Omnivore!!!!

Right now, at this very moment, while I'm posting other stories...
ha ha ha ha
I can barely type this...

Anne is feeding Samuel the rest of his supper.

But the funny thing is that she keeps repeating over and over, very loudly,

"Omnivore!!!! Omnivore!!!! Omnivore!!!!"

She did start out by teaching him what omnivore means,

"Sam, an omnivore is somebody who eats all their food."

Our Poor Neglected Left Hands

Today Anne asked Lydia,

"Mom. What am I supposed to be doing with my left hand?"

Lydia replied,

"Anything you like."

Which seemed appropriate to me.

While Lydia was telling me about it at the supper table tonight, Anne added,

"I asked 'cause it just kinda hangs there and I always use my other hand!"

So we came up with a list of things she couldn't do without her left hand:

• Clap
• Tickle
• Carry her brother
• Rake leaves
• Help dad with chores
• Carry two gallons of milk (which she's been able to do since she was two and one half)
• Unload the dishwasher (honestly one of her favorite things to do)
• Swing on our swingset
• Pull up your pants (when she has plumber's disease - which happens quite often )

Poop Tunnel

We were driving home from Tim's office the other day and there were hundreds of birds in the road, on the wires above, in the grass beside the road - all around.

I honked the horn as we approached and they started flying around. Anne piped up from the back seat, "Wow Mom! It's a poop tunnel!" Then after we passed them all, "Did they get us?" I said, "Nope." She said kind of quietly, "They made a poop tunnel and they failed."

One Tough Kid

"See how I'm missing a finger?

"Yeah, I went down to the basement and I was working and I dropped my wallet and my cell phone.

"I bent down to get it and I put my hand on a poky, not a poky little puppy (favorite book) but a poky thing; and it went 'bulooom' (motioning with one finger around the one that was "lost") and I felt pokies in my finger and they hurt but I picked up my wallet and my cell phone.

"Then I came back upstairs and I noticed I had lost this finger. So, I went back downstairs and I found it and then I picked it up and took it to the Doctor and they glued it back on. I was glad because I wouldn't be able to do my work if I didn't have all my fingers.

(So is it missing or not?)

A song

Found this one that Tim had written down from 10/15/06

Anne is singing right now, while looking out the window, "Unsweetened Yogurt, Unsweetened Yogurt, Unsweetened Yogurt"

...she used her seat belt.

In the van today waiting for Lydia watching a lady beside us get into her van.

Anne: "Hey dad, that lady knows the Lord Jesus."

"Oh yeah, how do you know?"

Anne: "Because she used her seat belt."

Mr. Salesman

Lydia was in the kitchen fixing dinner tonight.
The phone rang.

"Tim, can you get that?"

"Yep." I answered.

I answered the phone, "Hello?"

"Hi may I speak with Lydia please?"

I asked, "May I ask who is calling?"
"This is Mr Cutco." (Not his real name, but was he really was calling about)

I said, "One moment."

(covering the phone microphone)
"Lyd, it's Mr. Cutco."

She answered, "I'll talk."
Then to Anne, "Go get the phone from Daddy please."

Anne comes to the back room, I'm holding the corded phone, "I need that" she said. I laughed, "Anne, get the cordless."
"I can't!" she said, "Mom told me 'Get the phone from Daddy'!"

I told her, "You can't take this phone to her, go get the cordless."

(All the while Mr. Cutco is waiting)

So, Anne marches into the dining room, through the living room, and into the front hall and pushes the button to make the cordless phone beep so she can find it. It's five feet away from where I was sitting. She walks back through the living room, through the dining room, and back to the back room to pick up the cordless phone.

Poor Mr. Cutco Knives - still waiting.

Where was I... Oh yes, the cordless phone was beeping when Anne picked it up, so she did what she always does. She pushed the button to make it stop, which also happens to be the button that takes it off hook so one can talk.
She loves to talk on the phone... Poor Mr Cutco Knives... He has no idea what is about to be unleashed upon him.

"Hewoh." (Hello with a 'w' instead of the L's)

"Good evening Lydia, how are you today?"

"Dood" (Good with a D for the G)

"Great! Well I'm just calling to talk to you about ... blah blah blah" He goes on for about 15 or 20 seconds, then there are some noises that are obviously Anne giving the phone to Lydia, then -

"Hello?" - Obviously an adult voice, obviously Lydia's voice.

"Oh, did you hear what I just said?"

"No, that was my four-year-old."

At that point I hung up...

Which means I could have, at any point intervened and spared Mr Cutco Knives the embarrassment of having been duped by my four-year-old daughter.

But you know, if I had, you wouldn't be reading this right now - snickering.