Clean-Up on Aisle Four

I was writing an e-mail today and Anne was in the room with me. She said, "Mom, I'm going to go poop, will you come wipe me?"

I said, "Yes, just call for me when you're ready."

A few minutes later I heard:
In a slow announcer voice (like over the over-head speakers at a store):
Clean-up on aisle four. Someone has pooped. Clean-up on aisle four. Someone has pooped.

First, I couldn't believe my ears... Where did she come up with that? I sat in my chair for a minute laughing and listening in case she said something else hilarious. Then... Panic. What if she had an accident on the floor and that was her way of telling me? When they say "aisle" they usually mean floor. I did NOT want to do the clean-up on aisle four! Well, fortunately it was just her quirky sense of humor and she was sitting patiently on the toilet waiting for me when I finally went in to take care of her. What a relief!

Fifty Thousand

When Anne is talking about something that she thinks is really expensive, she'll say, "It's Fifty Thousand bucks!" (Well, it actually comes out "Butts" and it's always hard for me to keep from commenting "That's a lot of butts!") She also says things like, "Will you be gone fifty thousand hours?" Fifty thousand is her biggest number.

As we were leaving Grandma's house tonight Anne announced from the back seat, "Mom, I shut the garage door all by myself!" I said, "Really? Wow. " Anne said, "Yeah, it's really hard. It's heavy. It takes like fifty thousand strengths, and I have them... and you do too!"

Crazy

I can't think of a better title for this post.

This is a collection of things I've overheard Anne say since about the first of March of this year (2006).

Anne!

Where are you?

I'm just watching out our window.

What?
What are you doing?

"I'm just watching out our knee boar hood (neighborhood)"
"Out the window"
"I'm watching the alley."

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"Up from the Gravy (grave)... I will follow you."
"I'm not following you, I want to stay with the Lord Jesus."

"Up from the grave He ARosa"

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"Doors are fun, doors are beautiful."

then she sings
"Doors are fun, doors are good to shut."
"open their mouth, and open their mouth."
"open their door, and open the door."

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"Oh Tree Cellphone."
"Cellphone"
"6...9..." (trailing off)
(then starts a coughing fit)

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while holding a bottle of sprinkles for ice cream,
"Chocolate Corn-Head, Chocolate Corn-Head"

Talvary

Singing... "You went to talvary, and there you died for me. Thank you

ward for wuvin me."

Bleeding Eyes

This is from a month or two ago

I'm walking around in my underwear.
We're talking about going on a date, and leaving, and anne needs some shorts to
be modest.

I told Lydia, "You'll be fine."

Anne pipes up and says to me, "Dad, you are NOT fine."

"You can wear your t-shirt, but you can NOT wear just your unders.
People would see you and say, 'Ew! Gross' then have to look away and their eyes would bleed."

Fixin' to find out

(From July 20th) We were cleaning the counter together and I asked Anne if that was food or a stain on the cabinet to the right of her. She headed toward it with her washcloth and said, "Well, we're fixin' to find out."

Beefers

The other day Lydia and Annie, and Nanna were on the highway when they saw a beaver along-side the road.

Anne said loudly and excitedly, "What is that?!"

Lydia said, "That's a beaver."

(Still loudly and excitedly)
"What's a beefer!?"

Beefer has now become a term of endearment and slight insult in our house.

examples:
Sam is a big beefer
Lydia does not like it when I call her beefer.

Gas

I was talking to Lydia on the phone the other day and she told me this story.

Anne: "I'm the gassiest little person!!"

Lydia: "You are?"

Anne: "Yes!"

(small pause in conversation)

Anne: "I tooted when were at the garage sale."
Anne: "Then several back there." (matter of factly)
Anne: "And then two times again... Just now!!"